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Help a redneck with a shower

Welp, ain’t this a pickle? On Thursday I’ll be the guest of honor at a “baby” shower. Yep, as biologically impossible as it may sound, I’ve been deemed an expectant father by none other than Prattville Fire Chief Terry Brown.

More on that in a few paragraphs.

Autauga County Probate Judge Kim Kervin came up with this thing four years ago. This was before she became judge, when she was an attorney. The idea was to get a well-known man about the community to be the “father” at a “baby shower” to help out The River Region Pregnancy Center.

The center, in Prattville, offers ultrasound services, pregnancy tests, parenting classes; just generally doing the good work. There’s never a charge and insurance isn’t needed.

So, back the shower. Kim… er… Judge Kervin, thought it would be a good way to raise awareness while having a little fun. The gig is attendees donate diapers, for all ages, and baby wipes. If you want to drop a little cash in the plate, have at it.

She convinced Autauga Sheriff Joe Sedinger to be the first Pop. The next year the sheriff tagged Police Chief Mark Thompson, who then passed the pacifier to Chief Brown in 2018.

See, the Dad gets to pick next year’s honoree, which explains how I got rooked into this whole campy comedy. And here I always thought that I was Chief Brown’s favorite.

I have to say I’m more than a little nervous. My esteemed predecessors really did well, getting truckloads of stuff donated. So, this is where I lose my pride.

HELP!!!

I can’t let the effort down. If you have it in your heart, please donate. The shower is Thursday from 1 p.m. to 3 p.m. at the Autauga County Courthouse. I’m told there will be snacks and refreshments and shower related activities. I don’t know what shower related activities are, since I have never attended a shower.

But eerbody’s welcome.

Shoot, it’s worth attending just to make fun of me. I was told to provide baby pictures of myself to serve as decorations. That ought to be a hoot! And remember, I get to pick Dad 2020. There’s no telling who the Fickle Finger of Fate will point to.

If you can’t make the party, slide on by the Autauga County Sheriff’s Office in the courthouse and drop off your swag. Or the Autauga Probate Office, just behind the courthouse o Fifth Street. They’re collecting loot as well.

Just tell ‘em Marty sent ya!

 

 

Read or Share this story: https://www.montgomeryadvertiser.com/story/news/2019/04/12/all-wet-help-redneck-shower-marty-roney-column-montgomery-advertiser-prattville-progress/3449270002/

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